Friday, February 19, 2010

26 today

Well- today I turned 26. This is the first year I have really noticed and felt older.

I would like to almost forget today happened.

It is not often that I let myself get sad or down, but today I was feeling it.

Another friend is having a baby.

One of many; ready to take that step and be a mom.

I am jealous.

When we first got married, I laughed it off- we were too young.

Then I felt a tiny pang of jealousy.

Now it is a full out, stab in the heart, overpowering sadness.

But are we ready?

Days like today when I am feeling mad, upset, and alone?
When we argue over who should take out the trash or feed the dogs?

Maybe not.

So, I feel old... steps behind the rest of the world and where I always envisioned myself.

Kara brightened my day with my favorite form of caffeine.
Michelle overdid and bought me my beloved bee stuff from Hobby Lobby so I can throw a cool picnic. And carbs for lunch (oh how I miss thee!)
My cute kindergarteners threw me a (not at all... they blabbed) surprise party, complete with cards, gifts, a BEE themed cake ( I have an obsession), a dozen roses, and squeals of laughter.

But at the end of the day- I still don't like 26.

1 comment:

  1. I love you are only as old as you feel they say. I can relate. But you look wonderful and you are wonderful. Your mommy time will come...and when it does, world WATCH OUT! Number 1 mom has finally arrived! :)